Month: June 2016

The Quest for Wi-Fi and The Jelly Donut

On my first night in Joshua Tree I was looking for a place that was both warm, had wi-fi, and had accessible outlets.

McDonald’s: Fail. It had wi-fi but there were no outlets.  Well, there were outlets but they were 15 feet off the ground from its former days of glory when it had a Playplace.  I could have stemed up the window corner dihedral and used the outlet if I had an extension chord.  Future plan for sure.

Burger King: Fail.  Although, it lead to some vital information

Burger Slave: I wish we had wi-fi, I can sometimes reach the hotel’s internet across the street.  McDonald’s has wi-fi but no outlets.

Max: Ya, I’ve already been there… Thanks anyway.

Burger Slave: (looks at me, intuits and that I’m a homeless drifter and responds says completely judgement free) You know if you want to go someplace less nice than McDonald’s you can go to Jelly Donut.

Max: They have wi-fi? Awesome.

Burger Slave: Ya, good luck!

Jelly Donut: Great Success.  Jelly Donut is an un-apologetically recently converted gas station with chairs and tables probably stolen from an abandoned Wendy’s.  I got a raspberry donut that appeared to have been left out all night. Evidence: Frost.  Although, the wi-fi was fast and there were accessible outlets.  I hung around for a couple hours, waiting for the weather to warm up.

A few other homeless regulars filed in, mostly ex-military folk and/or conspiracy theorists that know Obama or the likely next president, Michelle Obama, was going to take their guns away.  I suggested that Obama probably secretly kept Bin Laden alive and that he probably had a better health care plan than we did.  This was accepted as fact.

It quickly became obvious that no one came here for the nasty donuts.  Everyone came to talk to Rosa.  The nicest Mexican-native american-Chinese woman on the planet.  I’m going to need to go back there.